Jose Cuervo Cookie Recipe

*** VERY IMPORTANT TO FOLLOW THE RECIPE CAREFULLY ***



Cookie Recipe

> 1 cup of water

> 1 tsp baking soda

> 1 cup of sugar

> 1 tsp salt

> 1 cup of brown sugar

> lemon juice

> 4 large eggs

> 1 cup nuts

> 2 cups of dried fruit

> 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila


Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level
cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in
a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try
another cup. Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs
and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the
frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets
stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample
the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oben. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, frow the bowl frew der
window, finish the Cose Juervo and make slure to put the stove in the
difwasher.

Turducken?

"What the hell is a Turducken", I asked my wife a week before Christmas.

"It's a chicken in a duck in a turkey", she replied.

"What kind of mutate meat mess is that?"

"It's good I heard. Anyway, I want it for Thanksgiving."

"Okay," I say.

So I went out and bought a Turkey and a Duck and retrieved a frozen
chicken from the deep freezer.

"What the hell are those for?" she asked when she spied the trio of fowl brethren.

"Christmas", I replied. "And good luck trying to get all those other two birds inside that poor turkey's butt!"

Dinner For Two

There's 8 inches of snow on the ground and my wife had to travel into New York City for work early today. I work outta my homeso more often than not I cook for the family.

Now it's a dark, cold winter eve and the wife will be heading home soon. The kids got snowed in on a school trip Upstate so tonight it's just the two of us. And I'm cooking. Tonight it's a meal to warm a lady up, not just for food, but for me too.

The menu? Whatever's in the freezer. Me make a trek out? Not today. I'm lucky. We've got half-a cow in the freezer. Let's just see what's there, shall we?

There's chuck. Here's a thought...Beef Stew and Biscuits. Meat and gravy enough for me, veggies and goodness enough for her.

Now for a cozy fire and a bottle of Merlot. Let it snow. Let it snow. Let it snow.

Welcome to Turkey Carcass Week

It's the week after Thanksgiving and I'm back to being the "essential cook". She wowed everyone on the Big Day and now I'm stuck with the leftovers. What do you do with a bowl of leftover rutagas anyway? So it was Turkey Tetracini (mushrooms, cheese, white sauce) and Old-Fashion Turkey Soup (greasy and nourishing), mmm. A few turkey sandwiches and that bird's history.

How'd you do? Please post.

Picture Me Making Tea Cakes

Like half the civilized nation at this point, I'm making that Pumpkin Spice Cake that uses 2 boxes of cake mix and 6 eggs for Thanksgiving. I checked my pantry and saw I didn't have any canned pumpkin and had to buy a larger can than I needed for the cake.

What to do with the balance of the pumpkin? Here's a recipe for Tea Cakes. Actually they're these little cookie. Tell me what you think?

Pumpkin Tea Cakes with Cream Cheese Frosting

Cream together, adding one ingredient at a time:

• 1/3 cup shortening
  
• 1 cup dark brown sugar
  
• 2 eggs
  
• 1 cup pumpkin

Sift together and then add to the dry ingredients:

• 2 cups flour
  
• 1 tablespoon baking power
  
• Scant 1 teaspoon salt
  
• 2 teaspoons sugar
  
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg
  
• 1/4 teaspoon ginger

Chill batter at least 30 minutes but no longer than 1 hour (or baking powder may lose its effectiveness). Spoon by rounded teaspoons onto heavy duty cookie sheets (if you need high quality bakeware visit www.essentialcook.com/catalog) or double up regular cookie sheets at least 1-1/2 inch apart. Bake for approximately 10 minutes at 400 degrees. Cook until evenly baked but not browned. Cool. Frost with Cream Cheese Frosting.

Cream Cheese Frosting

Make it in seconds with a food processor from Essential Cook.

Cream together:

• 4 ounces Cream Chees
  
• 4 Tablespoons Butter
  

Add:

• 1/2 Box of Confectioner's Sugar (1/2 lb.)
  
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
  
• Few drops of orange food coloring
  

Dinner - Monday November 7

Fellas Unite --

It's Monday and everyone is waiting for Dad to cook. What can I say - cooking brings out my masculine side and my creativity. I'm a whiz at the old standards but I like to experiment as well.

I cooked a Meat Loaf for Sunday's dinner and although I thought I'd be able to use leftovers today. No such luck. My daughter and her friends polished that off late last night while they watched MTV. So, I found some fish in the 'frig and will fry that tonight. Since I have a stockpile of baby carrots that my wife bought for her diet and didn't eat so, I'll cook carrots as well.

Here's a recipe for Glazed Carrots:

Carrots - used a bag of baby carrots
1/2 cup Brown Sugar
1/2 stick butter or margarine

Boiled the carrots and dumped the sugar and butter in. Stir everything and the carrots are glazed. And good!

What are you cooking tonight, Mister?